This is incredibly stupid. zekyel transformed my Farmer Eruri AU into Pigmy Hippo Farmer Eruri AU somehow.
Dialogues are directly copied from a conversation I had with cafe-mediano (she was Levi in this haha) so think that’s makes her the co-writer of this silly comic.
Obviously, Erwin doesn’t actually think Levi is disgusting, he just gets overprotective with his hippos.
james turning down every hogsmeade invitation by telling them he’s going stag
Sirius spreading a rumour that he has a cat just so when people ask him about it he can go, “Nah, I’m a dog person.”
Peter being loud so when a teacher chews him out, he can promise to be “quiet as a mouse”
Remus turning into a fucking werewolf
When I grow up I want to be Ming-Na Wen.
She’s the voice of Mulan, as if she wasn’t amazing enough.
She broke it with her fingers. Not a fist, her fingers.
Girl is 50 years old.
FIFTY. YEARS. OLD.
fun fact: When you break things with your hands like that you have t break your fingers on purpose before so that they heal stronger. So basically this woman is so badass she broke her hands just to do this.
You asshat, you’re making it sound like she snaps her fingers in half.
Martial artists like Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee (and yes, fucking Ming-Na Wen, that beautiful badass) will build up their bone strength by repeatedly (and fairly gently) striking sand, gravel, wood and steel - this creates tons of microfractures in their bones (smaller than even a hairline fracture) so the bones will heal over again and make the bones stronger and denser with increased deposits of calcium.
This has to be done over long-ass periods of time, so the bones have time to heal, and none of the fractures expand into actual breaks.
Oh, and she’s doing precise-ass kicks in HIGH HEELS.
she kicks ass like a coursing river
with all the force of a great typhoon
With all the strength of a raging fire
As adorable as the dark side of the moooooooon